Open Endings

A problem with undefined relationships is telling when they are over. If you never agreed that you’re together, you can’t really break up either.

I’ve started to recognize that my exquisite yet undefined friends-with-benefits thingy just might be over. Before, it used to be him who contacted me – maybe 1 out of 10 times I would call him. However, the last time we saw each other was over a month ago, and since that I haven’t heard anything from him. A few weeks ago I even got to the point of texting him myself, but to my surprise received no reply.

It’s as if he had simply vanished. And I have absolutely no idea why.

The last time we met, he had needed to see me. He left from a party and came to pick me up to his place. “Because they’re not like you”, he said when I asked why. And all of a sudden, poof! Complete silence, on all medias of communication.

I guess open endings will always take some time to digest. However, I’m positive that quitting longing for that someone will open my eyes for other, fresh and exciting possibilities.

Besides, in a city size of Helsinki, we probably cannot avoid seeing each other forever. I don’t mind, though. The times we were together were simply magnificent, and I have no reason to have any hard feelings. So – maybe we’ll smile, maybe we’ll say hi, maybe we’ll even stop and ask how the other one is doing – or maybe nothing of the above.

Time will tell. But for the moment, I will stop wondering what carried us apart. It’s funny how calm I am about this, but I’ve come to realize that I actually don’t long for his presence anymore.

"Close some doors. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because they no longer lead somewhere."

Paulo Coelho

Indeed. And who would not want to go on?

Post by Jo

drunk-dial-logics

Behavioral experiments about drunk phone calls

In a dark, northern country like Finland, very few marriages would ever happen without alcohol. Quiet and shy Finns only start talking after a sixpack of beer and in order to get in contact with the opposite sex, it usually takes a couple of Jägermeister shots added. 

Well, luckily we - the current 20 to 30-year-old coolster generation, that lives in the sexiest districts of Helsinki, dresses in American Apparel and COS, ombre-colors their hair and smokes electric shisha pipes - aren't that bad. We have learned to be nice, polite, and social. 

However, alcohol is still the love potion of our social culture. We meet new people while partying. And admit it - we are still shy - and this is why we continue with the process of getting to know each other while being doped by champagne showers. And drunk dialing is weird. This is why I decided to give you all a little handout to decode the drunk contacts based on my own field research of the topic.

You need nothing but the moment of time of the drunk contact, and the case is clear.

Call/Message at 7 pm

He thinks of you as a friend. Or he is Italian.

Call/Message at 10 pm

He thinks you're cool but doesn't know if he is that into you.

Call/Message at 12 pm

He is interested in you. 

Call/Message at 2 am

He is definitely interested in you.

Call/Message at 4 am

This one needs no explanations, right? It's a booty call. He want's to have sex with you. No emotions can be analyzed by this contact since at the moment he is just acting based by his primitive need to breed. 

Call/Message at 6 am

He is in love with you. 

Be my guest.

Post by Sally

Small town issues

They say world is a small town. That between any two individuals in the world there is only a maximum of six degrees of separation. And you know it's true, as it seems that whenever you meet someone, is it in Helsinki, Milan, Singapore or Mexico, you are most likely to find some mutual friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend after getting a bit deeper in knowing each other.

So, from this aspect, Helsinki is like an Amish community – a little village where everyone is more or less related to each other. Everyone knows everyone.

This is a tricky situation when it comes to dating. If there is a million people living in the Helsinki area, from whom approximately 100 000 is at my age range, from whom 50% is female gender, 50% is in a relationship, 30% is uneducated or intellectually inadequate, 20% wear camouflage patterned clothes, and from the remaining part, majority is just too weird, too normal, ex-boyfriends of a friend, have bad breath, racist viewpoints or no confidence, so the remaining amount of men that are actually dateable potential is like, what, twelve?

And of course, all the cool kids hang out in the same courtyard.

So, as a single girl, who in general gets very well along with the opposite gender and is incapable of long-term relationships, I face a problem every once in a while – I get interested in someone, whose friend I have already dated.

It is pretty damn awkward. For everyone. 

My recent date is crazy and weird, fun and good-looking. And so was a good friend of his whom I went out a few times two months ago.

Looking forward to the shit to hit the fan.

Post by Sally