Shaved legs and other absurd summer turn-offs

While summer days are long and warm, they leave no room for covering your imperfections - you just have to put yourself out there.

However, I have been hit by some awful details that summer has revealed about men I have met. Though everyone, even me and Jo, have their imperfections, we thought it might be useful for you men to check out this list about five features that should definitely be avoided in the summer. I'm pretty sure I'm speaking with the voice of all the woman on the Earth.

1. Shaved legs
   
   Few days ago I noticed that a (straight) male friend of mine had shaved his legs. I mean seariously, what is going on? You don't have to be a lady to get laid. We can handle hairy legs. They are okay. Men's legs are not supposed to make us feel like little hobbits in case we've had a busy morning.
    
2. Pastel colors
   
   Even though they are hot every summer, they are best worn by babies and teenaged girls.
    
3. Nudity
   
   Even though summer is the only season in Northern Countries that enables being naked outside, please don't. No matter what the circumstances - whether it's a beach party, a festival, a summer cottage trip or whatever else - too much nudity is always awkward.
    
4. Speedos
   
   Unless you're an Olympics swimmer, see point 3. Five inches of fabric is not enough. And I don't need to be able to see the profile of your penis from 10 meters away from you. Trust me, if I want to know what you have down there, I will find my way. Oh, and pairing them with a T-shirt is only making it worse. A lot worse.
    
5. Sunburned skin
   
   Red skin is not only ugly, it also shouts HEY I'M REALLY DUMB AND I DON'T MIND TAKING CARE OF MYSELF. So c'mon. No way dude.
    

So please, guys. Keep these in mind and you might avoid awkward moments and pitiful looks into your direction.

Post by Sally

Lorem ipsum and other useful dating tips

Getting dating tips from married/in-a-relationship friends is one of the things I hate most. Whether their aim is to encourage (“Don’t give up! Mr. Right could be just around the corner!”) or to push (“Better get yourself into the game before all the good ones are gone!”), it’s all as ridiculous and uncomfortable.

Yesterday, I met a few friends on an evening walk by the seaside. One of them (single) was in agony, since her summer job would end already in July, and she didn’t yet know what she would do for the rest of the summer – not to even mention about the finances. Fortunately, the other one (dating) immediately found the right words to comfort her:

“Oh well, you just need to find a man to keep yourself busy!”

I was so shocked I just hysterically laughed at her, but on the inside, I really wanted to ask whether she hit her head two months ago when she met her current boyfriend.

I assume she only meant it to be funny, but as they say, there’s a truth behind every joke. Nevertheless, I sincerely hoped this shitty-relationship-advice-Tourette’s was just a momentary rush of blood to the head, and not a permanent condition.

Advice like this is just empty words to me; it makes me wanna put my hands over my ears and shout LA LA LA as loud as I can.

Dear married/in-a-relationship friends, advice like this is not uplifting or inspiring, nor is it practical or sensible, but it’s. just. awkward.

We might not be single by choice, but moments like these I for sure wish my married friends would consider it to be that way. With all due respect, I wouldn't mind if you just kept these jewels of wisdom to yourselves.

Post by Jo

#notimpressed

Last Saturday, I experienced one of the weakest pick-up attempts in a while. My friends and I were at a club opening, standing at the bar, chatting and sipping some sparkly. Suddenly, behind my shoulder I heard a nervous cough.

“Hey… Sorry… We study at the same university, don’t we?”

Struggling to recognize the guy, I was mumbling something resembling a yes, while he already blurted out The Big Question.

“So… Wanna dance?”

Wait… What? That's all? We study at the same university; therefore I should be up for some dryhumping with you, on an empty dance floor size the half of a football field? I don’t think so.

And seriously dude, don’t you have any manners at all – you didn’t even introduce yourself?

Amused, I politely declined the honor, telling him I should already be on my way home. Unfortunately, the poor guy started pleading, and next 10 minutes or so went on like an awkward broken record – “Please”, “No”, “Pretty please”, “No”, “Pleeeeease”, “No way” – and so on, until the guy finally gave up and left.

Making the first impression matters.

When approaching a stranger, aim to make an impression – any impression. Frankly, to me even a bad impression is better than no impression at all. And whatever you decide to do, just don’t apologize yourself. You won’t make an impression by being sorry for who you are.

You don’t have to do anything huge – just be cool and stay smart. Act according to the setting. If, for instance, you can count the people on the dance floor with your fingers, it’s probably better to offer the lady a mojito, not to beg for a booty shake.

Be confident, and be genuine. And please do introduce yourself.

Post by Jo

Managing Human Resources

Dodging, tackling and hooking co-workers

Last Saturday it was time for the summer party of the company I work for. The industry being IT, most of the workforce quite naturally represent men. Guys, cool guys, less cool guys, real geeks, and so on.

Anyway, on an occasion including company like that, open bar service, live music, casual mingling, and Finnish drinking habits – being a female wearing a dress and lipstick – it might be difficult to avoid any sexual references or raunchy talks.

So, at the party, a few times I found myself in a situation that went more or less across the vague line of appropriateness between colleagues.

1. Senior investor of the company touching my private parts. Or more like brutally groping my ass. Really, as if he was a 15-year-old making it to the second base for the very first time. You middle-aged, married, father of two, perv. Very awkward. Very uncomfortable. Definitely not cool.
    
2. Colleague from my team telling he wants to kiss me. Several times – but I couldn’t tell whether he was joking or being serious. Okay, being Italian and drunk might be his excuse, but in any case, it was rather embarrassing than flattering since other colleagues overheard that.
    
3. Mr Office McDreamy telling me about the problems in his relationship. And enquiring after my relationship status. After having flirted a few hours with me. Weird. But interesting. Really interesting.

In all my previous jobs my association with my colleagues has always been purely professional, so I was rather clueless, to be honest. Seriously – what’s the deal? Where’s the line?

Can you get involved with a colleague, or is it an absolute no-no?

Post by Jo

Small town issues

They say world is a small town. That between any two individuals in the world there is only a maximum of six degrees of separation. And you know it's true, as it seems that whenever you meet someone, is it in Helsinki, Milan, Singapore or Mexico, you are most likely to find some mutual friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend after getting a bit deeper in knowing each other.

So, from this aspect, Helsinki is like an Amish community – a little village where everyone is more or less related to each other. Everyone knows everyone.

This is a tricky situation when it comes to dating. If there is a million people living in the Helsinki area, from whom approximately 100 000 is at my age range, from whom 50% is female gender, 50% is in a relationship, 30% is uneducated or intellectually inadequate, 20% wear camouflage patterned clothes, and from the remaining part, majority is just too weird, too normal, ex-boyfriends of a friend, have bad breath, racist viewpoints or no confidence, so the remaining amount of men that are actually dateable potential is like, what, twelve?

And of course, all the cool kids hang out in the same courtyard.

So, as a single girl, who in general gets very well along with the opposite gender and is incapable of long-term relationships, I face a problem every once in a while – I get interested in someone, whose friend I have already dated.

It is pretty damn awkward. For everyone. 

My recent date is crazy and weird, fun and good-looking. And so was a good friend of his whom I went out a few times two months ago.

Looking forward to the shit to hit the fan.

Post by Sally