Lorem ipsum and other useful dating tips

Getting dating tips from married/in-a-relationship friends is one of the things I hate most. Whether their aim is to encourage (“Don’t give up! Mr. Right could be just around the corner!”) or to push (“Better get yourself into the game before all the good ones are gone!”), it’s all as ridiculous and uncomfortable.

Yesterday, I met a few friends on an evening walk by the seaside. One of them (single) was in agony, since her summer job would end already in July, and she didn’t yet know what she would do for the rest of the summer – not to even mention about the finances. Fortunately, the other one (dating) immediately found the right words to comfort her:

“Oh well, you just need to find a man to keep yourself busy!”

I was so shocked I just hysterically laughed at her, but on the inside, I really wanted to ask whether she hit her head two months ago when she met her current boyfriend.

I assume she only meant it to be funny, but as they say, there’s a truth behind every joke. Nevertheless, I sincerely hoped this shitty-relationship-advice-Tourette’s was just a momentary rush of blood to the head, and not a permanent condition.

Advice like this is just empty words to me; it makes me wanna put my hands over my ears and shout LA LA LA as loud as I can.

Dear married/in-a-relationship friends, advice like this is not uplifting or inspiring, nor is it practical or sensible, but it’s. just. awkward.

We might not be single by choice, but moments like these I for sure wish my married friends would consider it to be that way. With all due respect, I wouldn't mind if you just kept these jewels of wisdom to yourselves.

Post by Jo

Friends and lovers

How to manage when a friend is dating an idiot

Whether we like it or not, we all are making evaluations and ratings about all the people we meet based on their looks, manners and intelligence essence. We all can pretty easily measure, whether we think someone is attractive, smart, funny or delightful. It's rather easy to know whether we want to hang out with somebody or not. Also, we've all been in the situation where the date or a significant other of our friend doesn't really live up to our expectations. 

But do we have the ability or permission to tell a friend whether to toss or take?

A few days ago I met a guy that has been hanging with a really good friend of mine. And it was an instant no-go. I could tell after a minute of being in the same pre-party that this guy has nothing to offer to this BFF of mine. He was not interesting nor funny, not any inspirational mind or intellectual challenge for my smart and thoughtful friend. 

I told my friend about my initial reaction, and to my stunner, she had started to feel the same. This made me think about all the other times, when a new partner of a close friend of mine hasn't really convinced me of being the true match. Basically every time I have been suspicious about someone, the men or women have turned out to be weirdos, dullards, or simply not the right persons. 

So, probably our close friends see us clearer than we see ourselves. They see through us. They see the minor body messages of hesitation that construe in their subconscious mind a message that the guy is not the right for us. They are not as blurred by crush or the haze of emotions. 

Probably trusting a friend's gut might be more valid than trusting our own gut. After all, they are the safety net we'll be landing on whatever happens.

Post by Sally